Stop Your Child from Being a Bully
The repercussions of bad parenting on children aren’t short-lived, the effects continue lifelong. As they say, a child is a blank canvas, it reflects the colors that we fill in.
It’s not the loose connection in the brain that makes a child bully, it’s the parents who do it. Imagine a child, freshly introduced to the school, after a period he turns out to be a bully. Where did he get that from? He hasn’t spent enough time at school to have learned that from his teachers or the other students.
It’s the aggressiveness of the parents that have been passed on to the child. Not by genes but by actions. To study the role of parents in child aggression, a study was conducted in upstate New York on 870 children with aggressive parents. These children were followed from the time they were eight until they turned thirty.
Among the 870 children, the most violent and aggressive ones were the ones who dropped out of school and had criminal records by the time they turned thirty. Also, these troublemakers used violence to straighten their kids in a similar way as their parents had treated them. Their parents disciplined these troublemakers with aggression, battering, and severity, so they use similar tactics to discipline their own children. This pattern goes on and on and passes from generation to generation. (ref — Book, Emotional Intelligence, Daniel Goleman.)
This way of disciplining the children didn’t come out of compassion or care towards the child. It simply depended on the mood of the parent. If the parent was in a good mood, the child could escape the battering and the bad mood brought wrath. The children carried this similar pattern to the school, hence becoming the bullies.
The children don’t leave this pattern at school; they carry this aggression their entire lives and pass this on to their children. Just because the parent is incapable of controlling his/her emotions, the child pays the cost, his entire life. Before you act upon your children ask yourself if you are being sensible or just an ass. There are many other ways to discipline children, violence is not one of them.
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